More Updates (Week 28)

"You are missionary here. You will still be a missionary at home." Papa Henrry said. Brandon, Ashley, and I were standing in the kitchen.

The day was winding down and bedtime was near. I had just gotten back from an evening filled with games and laughter and classic Peruvian sweat. Once in a while the members from each of the nearby churches get together to play together. It was a large group. It probably would have been cancelled state side.

The three of us decided we needed to warn Papa Henrry that there was a high likelihood each of us would need to leave this week. Coronavirus. I know, I'm as tired of hearing about it as you are. I can probably count on one hand the number of non-coronavirus related posts on my Facebook feed. But, the reality is that it's a real event and our world is revolving around it, so it's hard to avoid talking about. So far, non of us student missionaries are being forced to return, but every hour more sources, including Canadian and US governments, "strongly suggest careful consideration" about returning home.

We don't want panic, but neither do we wish to be stuck in a third-world country and away from our families during this time. (Spoiler: I am still planning on staying, but information changes by the hour. Plans could too.)

To be perfectly honest, more than a small part of me has hoped I'd end up being brought home. The last few weeks my level of homesickness has been insane, and it's brought me to tears on more than one occasion. Shout out to my phenomenally calm and collected mom who lets me sob over Facetime and still has the insight to remind me that I truly do want to stay. Don't hear me wrong! I love my familia Peruano, and I don't want to leave them. I just miss my US family, too. Can't I have them both?

"Has ayudado mucho. How do you say this in Ingles?" Papa Henrry asked. "You have helped a lot," I helped him out. "Yes. You have helped a lot. We will miss you so very much. You have been good missionaries, but we understand." On of us chimed in, "One day we will visit and we'll bring our families." He smiled, "Please do. Many missionaries come back to visit with their families. We want you to as well." He paused and then added, "Maybe I'll just move to the United States with you guys. We could continue clinics there."

Tears threatened my eyelids. Wow. I hadn't even decided if I was going home yet. I didn't expect this to be so hard. Suddenly, I realized that I had a life here.

A mini monkey!

Yes, I want to come home. There are soo many people I want to hug. (Trixie, the other night I dreamt that I accidently wore perfume on my first day back to church, and you couldn't give me hug because of your allergies. I'll remember to go perfume free in real life.) There is a host of people I'm longing to talk with over steamy cups of chai. Although, at this point that wouldn't even be possible if I did come home. Dang coronavirus and quarantine! Frankly, I would just really like to drive my own car again, and not think about the possibility being mugged as I cross the street between the two sides of our compound.

So, yes I do want to come home, but I have a life here, too. I have friendships and family that I have spent six long months cultivating. I'm not as far in Spanish as I want to be. I still have more writing projects and video projects to work on. There is more strawberry/pineapple juice I want to enjoy. I still need to figure out how to startle Miguel as much as he does me. I still need to experience eggs being smashed on my head for my birthday.

I have a life here, and I'm not ready to go.

Tonight I realized this.

As Janina hugged me and Papa Henrry said, "I love you," my heart said, "I'm not ready to go."

We've done more research and it still seems safe to stay... possibly even safe-ER to stay. As of today, Peru has 42 cases, but they're being extremely proactive. All of our schools closed before the US even mentioned closing theirs. So far, South America is relatively safe. It is concerning that we work at a clinic. People get sick - they come to us. That's the nature of clinics. BUT, that also means we have more resources than we might otherwise have.

So, why am I adding to the never ending flood of Coronavirus news? For two reasons. 1) Because just like our whole planet right now, we could use a lot of prayers. Prayers for wisdom. Prayers for peace. Prayers for health. 2) Because life as a college student, student abroad, missionary, and many others is being tipped upside down right now.

Let's see if we can spread hope, grace, and solutions as quickly as we spread viruses. Wash your hands of germs, but don't was them of love.

IN OTHER NEWS, I sat in a hammock today sweating buckets while my family weathered a -14 degree windchill storm back home. So who's really living life? Answers could vary. ;)

~TBS~