The 21 Things I Don't Understand

Well, it looks like life has finally dealt me my 21st birthday. Craziness! I remember wondering as a child how people actually reached adulthood. You see, I understood that the general line of thought was that they grew up and slowly became adults over time, but at age three that just didn't makes sense to me. Surely there was a magic day in which people woke up and suddenly understood life and adulthood and all things confusing.

I come before you now to admit... something went wrong... I've reached the age in which I'm supposed to know everything, but there are still 21 things I don't understand. Of course, I DO know EVERYTHING else so please don't judge me too much.

1) Why do the last TWO bobby pins always last longer than the 100 or so that precede them? Like seriously. I can lose an entire package of brand new bobby pins within a month or so, but I swear the last two stick around for at least five years. This is testable and repeatable, too, so I consider it science.

2) Pink Camo. Like... why? Who was the first person to think, "What are the worst color sequences we can possibly think to create? Oooo pink and camo. Seriously people, no one else can combine barf with barf and make it profitable. And then who was the first person who thought, "Barf and barf. I LOVE it!"

3) We've all thought it. We've all wondered. I'm here to ask, WHY THE HECK TO DUDES HAVE NIPPLES? This is an honest to goodness question, people. WHYYYYY?

4) Bad boy syndrome. I have spent years trying to get my head around this one, and I'm afraid I am no closer to understanding it than when I first started contemplating it. What is it that girls find attractive in bad boys? This goes the other way around, too. I am dumbfounded at how many guys I know who are attracted to... I'm just gonna say it... bitchy girls. Friends, fellows, and countrymen explain for I am at a loss.

5) Another thing. They say that people who are weak and frail are pansies. Folks, have you ever tried to grow pansies? They're one of the hardiest flowers I know. They're one of the few that can survive harsh temperatures. I kid you not, I've even seen a couple beat cold Montana winters. In case you didn't know, it is a rare plant that can survive Montana winters. Shouldn't it be a compliment to be called a pansy? WHYYYYYYY do we call weak people pansies? I. Don't. Understand.

6) I love dogs. I even like small dogs best. But... WHAT IS SO ATTRACTIVE ABOUT CHIHUAHUAS? It's as if someone thought, "Let's create a breed that is whiny, yippy, ugly, and pees everywhere. Then let's watch to see how many people fall for it." I'm just thankful I've never seen a chihuahua wearing pink camo. If that's a thing please don't share pictures, or wait to invent it until after I have passed.

7) Why is it considered an automatic "friend-zone" to call a guy a friend. Call me Miss Wack, but I actually want to date and marry a friend, sooo... If I call you a friend, that doesn't NECESSARILY mean I don't "like like" you. Unless you're a girl, in which case I should probably clarify that I am straight.

8) The time of day in which I am most inspired and motived, almost without fail, is when I'm waiting to fall asleep. Folks, what kind of a nasty trick of adulthood is this? If I had the amount of motivation during the day that I have in those wee moments of the night, I probably WOULD be the President already. Sheesh!

9) I want to use this moment to set the record straight for expectant high schoolers anticipating college. In high school you hear two things 1) You have to learn to dress nicely because in college sweats and comfy clothes won't be accepted 2) Learn to govern your time on your own because college classes don't require you to be there. Lies! LIES. They're all lies. After two full years of university and possibly 15 courses later, I don't think I have had ONE class that did not give out some sort of penalty for not being there. AND, ain't NOBODY wears more leggings, sweats, and comfy clothes than college students. I kid you not, I even had one college professor that REQUIRED that we wear comfortable clothes for a week. She REQUIRED it, and she encouraged us to wear PJs if we wanted. This is is not a joke. I repeat. This is not a joke. (Disclaimer: This was for a creative class that taught us to remember to give ourselves a break in order to rediscover our creative side. Very few professors are THAT relaxed.) I just don't understand why high schoolers aren't told the truth.

10) They say that fasting from food makes your head clearer. Ummm, what kind of sorcery do those people use? Because I can promise it doesn't work like that for me. Granted hypo-glycemia runs in the family and I tend to get low-bloodsurgery more than some. Maybe, I'll let this one pass.

11) Who decided it was a fashion faux pas to wear white shoes after memorial day? Life has enough problems as it is. What if I want to wear white shoes whenever I dang well please.

12) Why are roses the flower of love? I mean, I do love roses, but I actually prefer other flowers. And why do people talk about how sweet roses smell. Have you smelled a rose? They smell like stale petal. Off the bat, I can think of several other flowers that smell more wonderful, are, in my opinion, more beautiful, and cost waaaaaaay less.

13) Is there anyone out there who would like to explain what is so attractive about getting drunk? I can understand taking a few drinks, but what is so fun about drinking until you throw up your guts? I'm not judging anyone, I just genuinely don't understand. Although, this is coming from a girl who hates throwing up so much that I no longer have a reflex telling me when I'll throw up. From childhood, whenever I became nauseas I would remain in denial for so long that I would throw up without any warning. Sorry if that's TMI. :p

14) Folks. WHY has society said that older women can't wear cute and trendy clothes. Or rather, why do we sometimes say, "She's too old for that outfit." If someone likes to feel cute and trendy even when they're older, BY ALL MEANS LET THEM FEEL CUTE AND TRENDY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY do we have to judge people for everything under the sun? I for one intend to be the kind of old woman who wears clothes that are to "young" for her. Hence the reason I still wear high pigtails at age 21. ;)

15) Why does society as a whole tend to think we will fix anything about our culture by aggressively arguing about politics online. I want you to understand me. I thing that politics are important, and I believe that they need to be discussed, but why must we accomplish this online and without tact? This isn't going to help the cause of either side.

16) Why can't we put more effort into teaching history in a way that isn't just dates and dead people. History is SO MUCH FUN, but when we think of it as just a bunch of facts to remember instead of overarching themes and legacies it sucks the joy out of it. And yes, I have had both kinds of history teachers, so I understand the agrivation that comes from "boring history."

17) Comparing ourselves to others. I understand that this is human nature, and I'm guilty of this phenomenon as well. But, I just don't understand why our world still has such an incredibly tough time realizing the danger of comparing our own nitty-gritty lives with the high-light real of others' social media.

18) Has anyone else noticed how much animals like soft things? I've seen this with several different cats and dogs. They all gravitate towards the softest blanket and the cushiest pillow. Why? How do they even feel how soft blankets are through the hair they already have? I have confusion.

19) Let me just ask. WHAT is so good about eggplant? It's a pretty color, but that's all I can say about it. Blethkthkhk. The same thing can be said for raisins.

20) Who decided to make purple jellybeans, market them as huckleberry, and fill them with the flavor of pine needles. I mean, have you tried huckleberry jellybeans? That's EXACTLY what they taste like... or I assume so. I've never actually tried pine needles.

21) You see, I like carbs just as well as the rest of them. Give me a bowl of cheesy pasta, and you'll have my heart. I have a sweet tooth that could put Marie Antoinette to shame. But, I must admit, I've never understood why healthy food has such a rap for tasting like sadness. I LOVE my veggies and always have. Granted I've never liked them QUITE as much as my brother who was told repeatedly as a child that he couldn't have more veggies until he ate the rest of his food. Kid you not! He was a strange child.

Well, my readers, I believe that concludes the list of things I don't understand. Of course, I understand everything else, so feel free to ask me questions and I will be happy to enlighten you all. ;)

Stay safe out there.

~TBS~